Tonight's CES Fireside was given by Elder Holland...and it was incredible. He has always been my favorite speaker, and I feel like his talks always hit a chord with me. And tonight was no different.
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I've had a lot of time to myself to figure things out, and it has been a better situation that I thought it would. My favorite thing that Elder Holland said was,
I wouldn't say that I have ever "checked my religion at the door"...but it helped me to see that there are a lot of ways that I can be better. I know I just turned 19, but I haven't been able to shake the thought of going on a mission...so that is where I am setting my sights right now. It also got me thinking about all of the people in my life that have shaped me, my values, the way I have directed my life and even my testimony. There have been numerous people who have put me where I am now, but there are a few stand-outs who I know I will never forget. So I'm going to take some time to talk about a few of those people, in no particular order. Maybe they'll come across this, maybe not. Either way...this is my journal. So...sorry not sorry? :)
Crystal Fox:
Crystal was very first Beehive advisor. I remember thinking that she was the coolest person to walk the Earth. She was in her mid 20's at the time, and had just had her first baby. Both she and her life seemed flawless in every way. I knew, as a 12-year-old, I wanted nothing more than to be just like her. I listened to every single thing she said about the gospel, and I hung on to it. Her example will always stick with me. I still, 7 years later, love running into Crystal.
Janis Castillo:
When I first moved into the Woodbriar Ward, I was two weeks short of 16. Janis had been called as the ward young women president a matter of weeks before that. She and her family had just returned from Mexico City, having just finished supporting her husband in his call as mission president. The day I turned 16 (it was a Sunday), she knocked on my front door and handed me two books. The first? A copy of the Book of Mormon. The second? Preach My Gospel. I had never finished the Book of Mormon, and to be honest? At that time in my life, I didn't have much interest in it either. Being new in the ward, I didn't want to be the awkward new girl, and there was a competition between the YW classes of who read the most pages every week. I didn't want to be the letdown. So I started reading. 14 days and 531 pages later, I had finished. I can't tell you everything I read. I can't sit and quote scripture, nor could I recite many of the stories contained within the book. But I can tell you all about how it made me feel. I know it was true because I could feel it. I dove into Preach My Gospel. Janis paired us off and had us going into homes in the ward and teaching. It brought me, Jane, Sady, McKenzie, Kenzi, Kalie, Kellie and Natalie closer together that I ever thought possible. We still get together and open Preach My Gospel whenever we get the chance. I will always love PMG for that, and for what it taught me. And I will always love Janis for giving us that learning experience, as well as for being the best mentor I have ever had.
Sady Pusey:
Remember the Book of Mormon story? Well. She was a major part of the reason I ever started. She supported me through the tough times, and was never afraid to bear her testimony to me. We've both been through our own ups and downs of life, but we've always been around to support each other through them. And most importantly? To remind each other of what is most important.
Jane Campbell:
Jane has been one of the greatest role models I have ever had. When I moved to a new elementary in 5th grade, she was the first person to befriend me, and we've been inseparable ever since. Even as we grow older and grow further apart, we always manage to fall right back into place where we left off. Jane has impacted my testimony in countless ways. She has such a deep understanding of and love for the gospel, and I loved the every second of the opportunity that I had to learn from and with her.
Maddy Richards:
So, Maddy has been kind of a big deal in my life over the last year. Although we didn't see each other every day--or very often at all--she impacted me and my testimony in a big way. Maddy bore to me one of the most powerful and convincing witnesses of the Savior that I have ever heard. She has a love for and relationship with her Savior that I longed for. It is thanks to Maddy that I sought after that relationship with Jesus Christ. I wanted Him to be MY best friend, too. I wanted to feel the peace that she so confidently told me of. I will never forget Maddy for what she taught me about the Savior.
Emilie Anne Facer:
Emi, no exaggeration, is one of the (if not thee) greatest people I have ever met. No, we don't have cute campfire testimony meetings every week. Or do we ever sit and bear hardcore testimony. But that is the remarkable thing about Em. She doesn't have to preach what she knows or feels...because she lives it in every way possible. I'm pretty sure she is the definition of a disciple of Christ. I don't have any doubt that Emi has a firm testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. She has made me want to be better, in some way or another, every single day since the day I met her. And that is why she is truly my greatest example. I want to emanate the gospel and my love for the Savior in the way that Emi can without even trying. She is just so good, and I want that, too. I've always heard church leaders and sacrament meeting speakers talk about how members of the LDS church stand out to those who aren't of our religion. They always explain it as someone having a "spirit about them" or a "light about them/in their eyes". Emi is the epitome of that. On top of all of that? Any spiritual advice Emi ever has is golden, and I take it to heart. I value her opinion and advice above anyone else's. She doesn't know about even a fraction of the impact that she has had on my life, in every way possible. And that is why I will always be grateful for the way that she has changed me and my life.
Ronnie:
My dad isn't the kind of dad that bears his testimony often, or talks about the church much at all for that matter. We don't do family prayer or scripture study in my house, nor can I remember the last family home evening we had. But my dad has had such a deep, impacting spiritual influence on me. He has always made very blatant remarks about how he wants me to serve a mission, and never fails to tell me that it was "the best decision he ever made". I know my dad has a deep, burning testimony. And I also know that he wants that for me and my siblings too. It is through his silent example that I strive to be better every day.
I promise you there are dozens more people who deserve every ounce of gratitude that I have, and I know the list will continue to grow.
The most important thing I took away from Elder Holland's fireside is that I have to stick up for what I believe and what I know to be true. I have to. And on top of that? I want to. I want to share how happy the gospel makes me. How joyful it makes me. How it can give someone as imperfect and flawed as myself hope for what is to come. How, at times, it has been all I had--and all I needed. I want to share the incredible message that families can be together for all of eternity. That we don't have to lose the ones that we love the most. I want to share it with everyone.
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I've had a lot of time to myself to figure things out, and it has been a better situation that I thought it would. My favorite thing that Elder Holland said was,
"You never check your religion at the door. Not ever."
I wouldn't say that I have ever "checked my religion at the door"...but it helped me to see that there are a lot of ways that I can be better. I know I just turned 19, but I haven't been able to shake the thought of going on a mission...so that is where I am setting my sights right now. It also got me thinking about all of the people in my life that have shaped me, my values, the way I have directed my life and even my testimony. There have been numerous people who have put me where I am now, but there are a few stand-outs who I know I will never forget. So I'm going to take some time to talk about a few of those people, in no particular order. Maybe they'll come across this, maybe not. Either way...this is my journal. So...sorry not sorry? :)
Crystal Fox:
Crystal was very first Beehive advisor. I remember thinking that she was the coolest person to walk the Earth. She was in her mid 20's at the time, and had just had her first baby. Both she and her life seemed flawless in every way. I knew, as a 12-year-old, I wanted nothing more than to be just like her. I listened to every single thing she said about the gospel, and I hung on to it. Her example will always stick with me. I still, 7 years later, love running into Crystal.
Janis Castillo:
When I first moved into the Woodbriar Ward, I was two weeks short of 16. Janis had been called as the ward young women president a matter of weeks before that. She and her family had just returned from Mexico City, having just finished supporting her husband in his call as mission president. The day I turned 16 (it was a Sunday), she knocked on my front door and handed me two books. The first? A copy of the Book of Mormon. The second? Preach My Gospel. I had never finished the Book of Mormon, and to be honest? At that time in my life, I didn't have much interest in it either. Being new in the ward, I didn't want to be the awkward new girl, and there was a competition between the YW classes of who read the most pages every week. I didn't want to be the letdown. So I started reading. 14 days and 531 pages later, I had finished. I can't tell you everything I read. I can't sit and quote scripture, nor could I recite many of the stories contained within the book. But I can tell you all about how it made me feel. I know it was true because I could feel it. I dove into Preach My Gospel. Janis paired us off and had us going into homes in the ward and teaching. It brought me, Jane, Sady, McKenzie, Kenzi, Kalie, Kellie and Natalie closer together that I ever thought possible. We still get together and open Preach My Gospel whenever we get the chance. I will always love PMG for that, and for what it taught me. And I will always love Janis for giving us that learning experience, as well as for being the best mentor I have ever had.
Sady Pusey:
Remember the Book of Mormon story? Well. She was a major part of the reason I ever started. She supported me through the tough times, and was never afraid to bear her testimony to me. We've both been through our own ups and downs of life, but we've always been around to support each other through them. And most importantly? To remind each other of what is most important.
Ashley Lindberg:
This girl. Hahahaha. Where do I even start? Ashley has helped me to understand the concept of eternity and eternal families in ways that I know I've needed. She was right by my side through some of the most terrifying times of my life, and she was there to remind me about the plan of salvation, and the reason that we are here...as well as where we go after. It is thanks to Ash that I have a much deeper understanding of life after death. It is because of Ashley, and wanting to help her in whatever small way possible, that I wanted to learn more. I wanted to know for myself that we don't just lose the people we love after they leave us for a time. And it is thanks to Ashley that I can say I know that families can be together forever. I will always love her for that.
Jane Campbell:
Jane has been one of the greatest role models I have ever had. When I moved to a new elementary in 5th grade, she was the first person to befriend me, and we've been inseparable ever since. Even as we grow older and grow further apart, we always manage to fall right back into place where we left off. Jane has impacted my testimony in countless ways. She has such a deep understanding of and love for the gospel, and I loved the every second of the opportunity that I had to learn from and with her.
Maddy Richards:
So, Maddy has been kind of a big deal in my life over the last year. Although we didn't see each other every day--or very often at all--she impacted me and my testimony in a big way. Maddy bore to me one of the most powerful and convincing witnesses of the Savior that I have ever heard. She has a love for and relationship with her Savior that I longed for. It is thanks to Maddy that I sought after that relationship with Jesus Christ. I wanted Him to be MY best friend, too. I wanted to feel the peace that she so confidently told me of. I will never forget Maddy for what she taught me about the Savior.
Emilie Anne Facer:
Emi, no exaggeration, is one of the (if not thee) greatest people I have ever met. No, we don't have cute campfire testimony meetings every week. Or do we ever sit and bear hardcore testimony. But that is the remarkable thing about Em. She doesn't have to preach what she knows or feels...because she lives it in every way possible. I'm pretty sure she is the definition of a disciple of Christ. I don't have any doubt that Emi has a firm testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. She has made me want to be better, in some way or another, every single day since the day I met her. And that is why she is truly my greatest example. I want to emanate the gospel and my love for the Savior in the way that Emi can without even trying. She is just so good, and I want that, too. I've always heard church leaders and sacrament meeting speakers talk about how members of the LDS church stand out to those who aren't of our religion. They always explain it as someone having a "spirit about them" or a "light about them/in their eyes". Emi is the epitome of that. On top of all of that? Any spiritual advice Emi ever has is golden, and I take it to heart. I value her opinion and advice above anyone else's. She doesn't know about even a fraction of the impact that she has had on my life, in every way possible. And that is why I will always be grateful for the way that she has changed me and my life.
Ronnie:
My dad isn't the kind of dad that bears his testimony often, or talks about the church much at all for that matter. We don't do family prayer or scripture study in my house, nor can I remember the last family home evening we had. But my dad has had such a deep, impacting spiritual influence on me. He has always made very blatant remarks about how he wants me to serve a mission, and never fails to tell me that it was "the best decision he ever made". I know my dad has a deep, burning testimony. And I also know that he wants that for me and my siblings too. It is through his silent example that I strive to be better every day.
I promise you there are dozens more people who deserve every ounce of gratitude that I have, and I know the list will continue to grow.
The most important thing I took away from Elder Holland's fireside is that I have to stick up for what I believe and what I know to be true. I have to. And on top of that? I want to. I want to share how happy the gospel makes me. How joyful it makes me. How it can give someone as imperfect and flawed as myself hope for what is to come. How, at times, it has been all I had--and all I needed. I want to share the incredible message that families can be together for all of eternity. That we don't have to lose the ones that we love the most. I want to share it with everyone.
"When [Jesus Christ] comes, I so want to be caught living the gospel. I want to be surprised right in the act of spreading the faith and doing something good, if I can...I want Him to tell me, 'I recognize you, not by your title, but by your life. The way you are trying to live and the standards that you're trying to defend. I know the integrity of your heart, and I know you tried to make things better...I know you weren't always successful, but I believe you honestly tried. I believe, in your heart, you truly loved me.'"-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
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